Fresh Starts
by RM5183
Summary: Alternate ending to "The College Try" in Season 3. This story starts when Ryan comes home from Berekly; he just found out that Theresa has a son and is questioning if he's the father. He's also still questioning where he stands with Marissa.


Ryan was sitting down on his bed in the pool house. He had just returned from his trip to Berkely, possibly his school in the fall. But he couldn't wrap his head around everything: would he be going to college? Because his childhood best friend, Theresa, has a kid. She lied to him and Kirsten caught her at the airport with a little boy.

_Am I possibly a father?_ He wondered. _I can't go to college if I have other responsibilities like this._

"Ryan." A voice said from behind him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Ryan turned around to find Theresa walking over to him, "Hey."

"I can't believe you contacted me..."

"Look, Kirsten saw you at the airport and then told me everything and –"

"He's not yours Ryan. He's Eddie's. We got a paternity test and everything." she said fast. Getting it out there.

"Wow," was all he could say. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again, "Is helping Eddie you out or anything?"

"Who, that bum?" She sat down on the chair sitting across from him. "No, he doesn't have enough money to help himself."

"Oh...You know I would have, helped and be there for you if I knew...Even though he's not mine, I would have –"

She cut him off, "I know that's why I never told you." He looked at her, "Ryan, you had a life here. What the Cohen's have here, that's for you. I realized I couldn't do that to you, take it all away to help me raise my son. I love you too much. You had to come back, to finish high school, go to college, be with Marissa... I'm sorry I lied for you, it was just...it was for the best."

Ryan just sat back and processed it all. "And how are you doing with it all then? Single mom and everything?"

"Really good actually! I got a job at a hotel and then I got promoted, promoted, promoted... and here I am. A proud mom with a career for herself." She said excitedly. "And you? How are you?"

"Good.. I guess."

"Why were you at the airport?"

"Berkely. Visiting for the weekend."

"You're going to college? Ryan I'm really happy for you. You definitely have Chino surprised."

"Yeah, thanks. I don't know, I wasn't so sure of it at first but then I just decided... I'm going to college."

"You won't do so bad. I know you won't." She gave him a reassuring smile. "meet anyone up there?"

"A few guys, yeah. And... I ran into Marissa."

"She's going to Berkely, too?" Ryan nodded. "Well, then that's perfect!" Ryan didn't respond. "So how are you two?"

"We broke up long ago and now... I guess we're okay... actually doing good. Friends."

"Friends? You know for a second I'm not buying that." She laughed.

"No seriously, we are."

"Well what happened that made you guys break up?"

He thought back, _What did happen? Trey? Johnny? _"I don't know..." was all he could get out. Theresa raised her eyebrows, not buying it. "I think it started last year. When I ran into you in Chino, remember?"

"You were talking to me about her and Trey...did she and him?"

"No, no, you were right, she would never do anything like that to hurt me.."

"Then, what happened?"

"Trey tried to rape her." He got out as fast as he could. Theresa sat there stunned.

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, I really thought he changed. Cohen's accepted him, Marissa accepted him so I gave him another chance but he does this... That's Trey for you..."

"How did Marissa tell you?"

"She didn't. She couldn't. She knew me and how I wouldn't have taken the news too well. She told Summer who told Seth who told me... And..."

"You went after him." She finished for him.

"Yeah..." Ryan sighed. She stared at him, waiting for him to continue, "He was... he almost killed me... then Marissa saved my life... she shot him"

Theresa had no words. She didn't know how to react, what to say.

"After that, her and I... Well, you know me with words..."

"You didn't talk to her about it?" he shook his head. "Ryan, that poor girl was almost raped, almost saw the one she loves die, and shot someone in the end. Don't you think she needed someone, _especially you_, to talk about it? To be there for here?"

"Well, I was a coward and didn't." He spat out. "Sorry... you're right. But I didn't. Instead, she went to Johnny."

"Who's he?"

"Some guy she met at public school before she moved back to Harbour. She was able to talk to him unlike me. I'm glad she was able to get over Trey though. I just wished it was me, not Johnny, who helped her through it. But I have no one to blame for that, except me."

"And so she's with him now?"

"No...she still chose me. After everything I did and didn't do for her, she still chose me."

"She loves you."

"But even though I love her, I didn't show it." Ryan started to feel guilty. He pressed on, "Then he passed away. Johnny."

"Oh my God. Poor Marissa." Theresa said. She started rubbing her head as if she was getting a headache. Marissa was all that came to mind. For the past year, she had been through hell. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "Did you do anything after that at least?"

"Yep... I broke up with her."

"Ryan!"

"I told you before, I was a _coward_, okay? Back then I was, and now that I think of it, I still am. What else do you think I could have done?"

"_Talk _to her maybe? _Be there_ for her? Look by what you told me just now, it sounds like you still love her. So stop being a coward and talk to her! College will be so much easier with you and Marissa on good terms."

"We are! We're friends."

"She may think that, but I don't, and you certainly don't. You love her. You still do and you probably will never stop."

"But everything I've done –"

"Was a stupid thing to do, yes. So make it up to her. Go to her."

"It's too late. Trey and Johnny happened a long time ago."

"But it still happened and you still haven't talked about it. The sooner you clear things up for you two, the better things'll be. "

Ryan sat there, silent. He knew this, he always has. But he was never good with words. He guessed he just needed someone to say it out loud for him. "Thanks Theresa."

"Yeah no problem..." She looked at her watch, "It's getting late, I have to get back to my son. We should catch up some other time." She stood up.

"I'd like that. Thank you."

She gives him a hug. "I will always love you Ryan, but you're an ass to Marissa by not being there for her." She said truthfully. But Ryan knew that's what he needed, to hear the real ugly truth like that. "Talk to her." Theresa made her way out the pool house door and turned around one last time to Ryan, "Once you have her, do me a favour and don't let her go?" They smiled at each other and she left.

Ryan laid down on the bed and thought over what Theresa just said. _Am I still in love with her? Theresa's right, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let her go like that._ He felt angry about the whole Sadie situation. Breaking up with Marissa because it became too much. The one time she needed him most, he ran. He ran into another relationship with a complete stranger, because he just needed to _escape_. _You're such a coward,_ Ryan kicked himself.

Then a thought occurred to him. He grabbed his cell phone and called Marissa.

Meanwhile, Marissa was back from her visit at Berkely. It felt weird being there. She was in a cab from the airport and for some reason, ended up at Volchock's. She didn't know what she was doing there, she wanted to end things with him so _how did I get her?_ she asked herself. Before knocking on his door, her phone rang and she saw the caller ID, "Ryan, hey."

"Hey. Are you back in Newport yet?"

"Yeah, I just arrived..."

"Do you wanna meet with me maybe?" He asked.

"Uh, sure..?" _he's acting strange... _"where?"

"the beach?"

"I'll be there in 10."

"Sounds good."

Marissa started to walk to the beach, but glanced back at Volchok's place. She contemplated to pop in for a visit, get her stuff, but then her mind wandered off at Ryan. He sounded serious. Besides, she was right with Volchok, they had nothing in common. So she continued to make her way to the beach.

/

_I wonder why he's called to meet me..._ Marissa thought. They've been through a lot but she loves Ryan no matter the history they shared. She'll do anything for him, so once she arrived at en empty lifeguard station, she sat down and waited for him.

Not very long, a dark familiar figure started to approach her. She looked out and saw him, walking slowly; he seemed almost nervous about something. His hands were in his pockets and his mind was in deep thought. He had on his famous leather jacket and his hair was all messy from the wind blowing. Once he arrived, he looked up from the ground and saw her sitting there.

He made his way up the ramp and stopped right in front of her. "Hey."

"Hi." Ryan sat down next to her but was staring off into the distance. "Ryan, what is it? You seemed weird over the phone. And after that night we hung out in Berkely at that party, I haven't seen you around."

"I came home early."

"Is everything okay?"

It took a while for Ryan to answer and Marissa was starting to worry with his silence. Finally, he spoke, "I'm sorry... For everything."

Marissa was suddenly confused. "For what?"

"Trey, Johnny, all of it."

"Where did this all come from?"

"Kirsten saw Theresa at the airport when she dropped me off..." he paused, "with her kid."

Marissa's eyes grew, she was shocked and speechless. "But, I thought she lost –"

"She lied..." He finally turned to look at her. She had such sorrow-filled eyes. "She thought it was for the best for me to not know, to move on and continue my life here in Newport."

"Oh. Is...the kid..."

"He's Eddie's. Paternity test proves it..."

Marissa sighed in relief. "So how is she?"

"Theresa? She's... actually doing really well. I left Berkely the minute after Kirsten called to tell me. And Theresa met with me tonight and explained everything."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah, she's a mom but doing really well for herself."

"Well, I'm happy for her. That she's doing well..." There was silence until Marissa spoke again, "And how are you with everything?"

"Honestly? Relieved. I thought if I were the father then I missed the first couple years of my kid's life, I would have responsibilities to take care of and... I'm just relieved I don't."

"Yeah.." She nodded in agreement. "But wait, why are you sorry?"

"When Theresa came, we talked. She asked about us and I told her we broke up... for some reason I told her about Trey, then Johnny and... just everything that's happened to us the last year."

Marissa was silent. She stopped looking at Ryan and started to play with her fingers nervously.

"She made me realize I few things... Marissa..." She looked at him, "I'm sorry for not being there for you. When Trey happened I didn't even... I chose to confront him instead of go to you. And after that, I didn't talk about it with you. You had to talk to Johnny instead, when _I_ was your boyfriend - someone you could trust and talk to. I got mad at you for Johnny even though it was my fault for not talking in the first place. I know I'm not good with words, but it's no excuse to run away from our problems... away from you. When you called having nightmares? I feel like such an ass for telling you to just 'go back to sleep'. The whole break up, me dating Sadie, those were big stupid mistakes. I'm sorry. I didn't have the strength to deal with everything, be there for you, so I did the cowardly thing and tried to just escape. I'm... sorry."

Marissa tried processing it all. The reason they had a bumpy relationship then was because of the lack in communication. Now, with it laid out on the table, it was a lot to take in. She tried thinking of something to say, but couldn't utter any words out her mouth.

"Look, you don't have to say anything. You have nothing to apologize for. With Trey, I asked you to hang out with him that weekend, that was my fault he did that to you. I should have known better. And to accuse you when I came back, that you and Trey hooked up? I was being stupid, out of line... and with Johnny... you may have loved him but –"

"I love you." she finally said.

"What?" he turned to her, and Marissa attacked him with her lips. He was shocked at first, with her lips on his, but then found the familiarity and kissed her back. He deepened it and there was passion between the two. He had missed her so much and felt so guilty for everything that's happened.

Marissa then pulled away, "Apology accepted." Ryan smiled at her words and kissed her again.

Once they broke off, he pulled her in, wrapping his arm around her; Marissa snuggled into Ryan's side and rested her head on his shoulder. "So much for '_being friends' _at Berkely..." she joked.

They both laughed. "Well think of it as this, we're back together with a clean slate in a new town... It'll be like a fresh start for us."

"Fresh start." She looked up at him, into his blue gorgeous eyes. She gave him a smile and kissed him.

"Oh and I forgot one last thing," Ryan said. Marissa waited patiently... "I love you too."


End file.
